C.H part 1

Today's breakfast is... McDonalds!!!! Wakakakakaka... My brother order spicy chicken McDeluxe for me, Big Mac & McChicken for himself... This is the first time I feel that my brother LOVES me and also is the first time he shares his food with me, normally he won't order for me (he will eat all those food that I order!!!) and will just order for himself and every time I will steal his burger to eat when he is not around... Haha... when I ready to eat my super duper delicious burger, I only realize that I haven't brush my teeth yet.
After brushing my teeth and I walk down, I saw my brother smiling at me without saying anything. It's weird and I don't know what's wrong... When I saw my burger... ... ... ...Ladies and gentleman!!!... ... Guess what??? Half of my burger is gone!!!!!!!!!

(Get shock and start shout like crazy...)

Damn... Why??? Why my brother do this to me??? What did I do wrong??? Why he ate my burger??? I am hungry and now half of my burger is gone!!! Why!!! I look at him and ask what he eat my burger... Guess what he say??? He says: Early in the morning eat too much is not good for you, and you will be fat if you eat this burger, you fat already then no one like you. So I help you eat half of you burger to keep you healthy! You see how good I am...

BULL SHIT!!!

DOG SHIT!!!

CAT SHIT!!!

COW SHIT!!!

FISH SHIT!!!

And all kind of SHIT!!!!

If my eyes can cause someone get killed and I sure he is DEAD now... next time no matter where I go also will bring my burger with me even in toilet (kidding...), keeping my burger safe from my lazy pig fat brother... what can I do? I stare at my burger for quite a long time and wondering can it save me from hunger to death...

We both chat together while eating our burger, my brother told me something about my X boy friend (C.H), and it makes me quite unhappy... My brother is one of their gang and he heard something bad about me from his friends, all of his friends are also C.H friends. My brother told me not to take back the money I borrowed to C.H cause he's telling everyone about me forcing him to pay me back (he owes me money!!!) and how much he spend on me. And keep telling people that I disturb him and he spend so much on me but don't even ask me to pay him back but I still forcing him to pay me back... HE OWES ME MONEY AND NOW IT IS MY FAULT???

WTF???

How can he say like this??? My brother told me that now everyone dislikes me and thinks that I am those girls that like money till crazy... Why always like this??? C.H says what they all believe, they never ask isn't true or false... No one understands me and all just think that I treat him bad...

He always act like he is an angle and I'm always the devil, what good things he had done for me he will told everyone and always tell others that he treat me super duper damn good. But... he never tell others how he hurt me and how he lie to me, and what he had done to me!!!

I never feel happy being with him, I try to breakup with him so many times but he never let me go... Being with him, it makes me suffer a lot. Below are those things that he told that I can't do...

1. Cannot talk to boys no matter in school or outside the school.

2. He deletes all my friends (boy) contact number except my dad, my brother and his number...

3. Cannot play friendster. (Even can play also cannot put pic.)

4. Cannot play MSN. (Even can chat also just with girls.)

5. Cannot hang out with my classmate even with few girls and 1 guy. (That guy is gay.)

6. Cannot sit with boy during tuition.(he will ask the same question every time after tuition: today got who talk with you, today who's sitting beside you, today got boy come disturb you a not?)

7. If I hang out with friends (girls), before 6o'clock must go back home. (But goes out with him until 12o'clock he won't ask me back home early... I wonder why???)

So what you guys think?

Is he crazy or what?

I don't have any male friends and he makes me feel so lifeless... I don't have any friends because even my friends ask me go out yam char or watch movie, I also can't go. He's very good in acting!!! When I want to breakup with him, he will always do the same thing, cry and call all my friends and tell them how I bad I treat him and how much he loves me. He lie to me and also to all my friends, when something happen, he will call and disturb all my friends (some of my friends believe him but after they know the truth they swear never to believe C.H again.) and ask for their help to tell me to give him a second chance. I give him so many chances before but he keeps breaking those promises and makes me and my friends disappointed again and again...

He lie to me about so many things, even it's a small thing, and he f**king love to show off!!! He told me about his X girl friend slept with him before and she is not a vi*g*n anymore, but the truth is, she never sleep with him before and he lie to me about his X girl friend breaking up with him, actually is he got bored with his X girl friend so he breakup with her. He says that she cheats on him, the truth is she never done it and her X girl friend wait for him for almost a year... How can he do this to his X girl friend??? Come on C.H!! You should look at yourself in the mirror before you say something like that, even a pig would reject you... I know it's not true but he says and acts like all those things are true...

I still remember when we broke up that time, he regret and tries to get me back, he comes to my house early in the morning, I still remember is around 9.30am and that day is yin yin birthday (1st time meet Joel), shit... I still need to sleep!!! he talked to my uncle and told my uncle that he know he's wrong and he apologize, he hope my uncle would help him, and he cries in front of my uncle, but I'm really scared to get hurt again so I rejected him.

Few days later he comes again, he comes my house and lie to me by telling me he want to bring me to pasar malam (I thought we could be friends), but he brought me to his house, he say that it's too early and pasar malam not yet open. == guess what he do? He tries to *kau* me back but I still reject him and I don't know what to do to make him give up on me so I lie to him, I told him that I fell in love in another guy and cannot accept him. He cried out and kneels down in front of me to ask me to give him one more chance but I still reject, I rejected so many times, but he didn't give up.

Suddenly he act like crazy person and keep saying want to die & without me there is no meaning to live in this world anymore. Then he start saying those things that very weird, example like please take good care of yourself, I will love you forever and no matter where I go I will still love you & so much more.

Then he bits his own tongue and don't wan let go, HE TRIES TO KILL HIMSELF BY BITING HIS TONGUE!!! I can't stop him and I just try to get his mouth open, he is too strong and I can't get it open... I don't know what should I do, I whack the wall until my hand got injured then he only stop and see how my hand is, after that... OMG!!! Guess what he did again? He goes to the kitchen and takes a long big knife and tries to kill himself again... he wants kill himself in front of me, I cry out so loud and I'm so scared. I really got frightened by him, my whole body just kept shaking and I don't know what I can do, I really got frightened by him, even now I think back I still will get scared.

Before this kind of things happen, he told me that I will never find someone nicer than him and no one will understand me and all those guy that fall in love with me is just because they want to sleep with me, he says that he is the only person that will love me forever...

And he tells all his friends I need him so much!!! Need what??? Need him to hurt me more??? WTF??? About this guy, I really don't know what I can say anymore... I give him so much chance and I'm really tired, if who fall in love with him, is damn unlucky... Now I only realized that love need luck, and I am lucky to meet my dear Joel. Back to the killing stuff, oh ya!!! Hmm... After that I give him a chance again... ... ... ... ... ok ok ok... calm down, calm down!!!... I know, you'll sure think I am the super duper dump no brain person in this world right? I know I am stupid but now I clever a bit already, if now my boyfriend lie to me, I wont be so stupid enough to give him a another chance again!!! Dear Joel, I know you will read my blog... so... hehe... clever a bit la you... ok???... ... ...

So after I couple back with him, he really treat me damn good, all my friends including sopo ding also forgive him and start to support me and wish me happy forever... but... beautiful moments won't last forever!!! I still remember 30 AUG 2007 C.H, me, sopo ding and ah dong, 4 of us go to the curve celebrate MERDEKA (first time saw honey(liying) and

sweetheart(shuyi) at ‘sakae sushi’)...

31 AUG 2007 he went to disco with his friends, I can't go because my dad won't let me out so late... He call me when he arrive there, I ask him isn't he wear until very handsome, later all those girl fall in love with him then I will jealous till die (playing with him). Then he told me that he didn't wear until very handsome, just wear a T-shirt and jeans, after that I didn't call him cause I want him to enjoy himself.

1 SEP 2007... He calls me and told me that he's going to his friends BBQ party, then after finish chat with him, I continue to make the present, I wanted to give him a small surprise after I finish it but few minutes later I receives a msg from C.H, in this msg he say that he just now busy driving so late reply, and now he's going to his friends BBQ party, he still wan ask that girl forgive him cause he late reply... ... WT??? I sure this msg is not for me because I already know that he is going to BBQ... if is not for me then who will it be??? He calls me and I ask him, he doesn't wan to tell me, he just told me is just a friend (c***e) that they just met in the disco...

I feel very sad and at that moment I felt that he cheated on me, he came to my house half an hour later and keep apologizing, and then I check his msg, C.H chat with c***e from morning till night, even more that chat with me, C.H wanted to bring that girl to his friends BBQ party but can't cause she is staying too far, and C.H ask that when she free, want hang out together when she free and DISCO too... but... ... MOST OF IT HAD BEEN DELETE??? all those msg had lose so many parts... I ask him isn't that he lied to me, I ask him so many times, he don't want to admit it and he still want to scold me, say that I don't believe him...

Don't know how long the time passes, finally he told me everything... C.H say that day in the disco he chat with this girl and the girl kissed him (she's blind!!)... WT??? He continue to say that the girl say that he dance very nice and she want to dance with him (imagine a cow dancing), and they got drunk... What the hell??? Continue... C.H said that he was wearing formal clothes excluding the suit... ... ... ... ...

What the fuck????????

OH MY GOD!!! Like this also wan lie to me??? I don't know why??? C.H wears T-shirt or wear formal clothes got any different??? So..lie me for what??? I ask him, why he want to lie... guess what he say?... ... ... he say: don't know, just feel want to lie only... ... ... OH MY GOD!!! What kind of reason is that?!== That's all for today... I really don't know what can I write anymore when I write until here... damn angry... crazy!!! Wear what shirt also wan to lie??? Crazy!!! What kind of person is this??? I'm lucky that I'm not with him now... if I'm... I guess I'll just rot to death...

To be continuing (C.H part 2)...